Or are you a fan of shoes with a long line of incest and backstabbing? Vow to always repay the debt you put on your mom's credit card with these regal red and gold Lannister kicks.
Then there's the Adidas White Walkers, and it's so obvious how these sneakers embody (the typically barefoot) undead monsters bent on plunging the world in eternal winter that we're not even going to bother explaining it.
But saving the best for last, we have the Adidas House Stark sneakers, with its many subtle shades of the direwolf color showcasing the tragic but noble- nope, that's just gray. They're just freaking gray sneakers.
While some of these look nice, to say they have anything to do with Game Of Thrones is just ridiculous. But maybe that's the point. As Luke Plunkett over at Kotaku comments, "it's an adult show and these are shoes for adults." They aren't shoes aimed at fanboys, but at fanMEN, the rising and lucrative demographic of middle-aged geeks who worry they're getting too old to wear anything with Pikachu ears on it anymore.
Picking up on that hint of shame, companies are now making no-effort fantasy sneakers or Star Wars special edition smartphones, having realized they don't actually have to try anymore in order to be able to charge double by exploiting fanbases. Just picking a vaguely relevant color and hiding a tiny logo somewhere that's hard to spot by Tinder dates is exactly what a lot of them now want. That way, no Gen Z kid can mock them for being 40 and wearing faux-direwolf fur, but they'll still know they're true Game Of Thrones fans every time they slip on those Adidas -- mostly because they have the logo printed in the insole.
For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
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