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Real Name: Pauli Poisuo
Member Since: September 25th, 2008
Columnist, writer, general squeaky cog in the Cracked machine. Just pronounce it the way you want. I'm not your dad, I can't tell you what to do.
Hit me up:
Karma, like Justice, is a B-word.
These inexplicable crimes exist as raw, bewildering proof of an uncaring and chaotic universe.
Selling snake oil is hard work these days.
Let's praise some crime!
Let your minions rejoice as you reveal to them your new base of operations, completely empty and ready for mayhem.
If something from your kitchen makes you sick, would you ever think to blame the grocery store? You should.
It turns out that many of the 'knockoff' brands we've scoffed at in the supermarket were there before the more famous, million-dollar 'original' product ... that totally stole their idea.
Apparently, rock stars who actually had serious careers going before the whole music thing panned out, and some of them are rather mind-blowing.
Documentaries are trustworthy, right?
The news cycle tends to operate with the attention span of a coked-up fruit fly.
For everyone hoping their jerk boss gets what they deserve, don't worry, science says that they absolutely will.
Prepare to just perpetually smell like soggy butt all the time.
Despite our seemingly impenetrable knowledge of how to catch cheats, the most ridiculous scams often go undetected for a ludicrously long time.
Some days, the universe gets high and randomly decides to turn reality into a 1980s action flick.
Modern Nazis won't be goose-stepping across the country in groups of millions in the foreseeable future.
Obligatory disclaimer: The following article is NSFW as balls.
Space might think of itself as a final frontier, but for boundless human ingenuity, it's just another hurdle to insanity-scream our way over.