What Could Possibly Be In Twitch Streamer Dr. Disrespect Memoirs?

The age of the e-celeb is truly upon us. As part of his ever plateauing media empire, this week saw the release announcement by Dr. Disrespect, the famous streamer who looks and acts like if Mario drove a Lambo Galardo and memorized the timesheet of his favorite stripper, of the first-ever memoirs of a Twitch streamer -- just as the 17th-century Romantic writers intended.

Violence. Speed. Momentum. will be found in your local Amazon Warehouse starting March 30th, 2021. The book will focus on the origins of Herschel Beahm IV's online persona and "never-before-told stories." So, will he finally open up about why Twitch banned him from streaming in 2019, yet refuses to say why? Or will he talk honestly about what led him to cheat with multiple women while his wife was at home taking care of their newborn? Nope. Violence. Speed. Momentum. is an entirely "in-character memoir," so expect 224 long pages completely from the viewpoint of an early-2000 open mic act with a mullet on it.

Which begs the question: If streamer memoirs are about streaming, then what's the point? Typically, the commercial draw of a celebrity autobiography is that it gives readers a rare intimate glimpse into the day-to-day lives of aloof stars, while they carelessly spill all of their professional tea as they reach retirement age. (Dr. Disrespect is a 38-year-old professional streamer, after all). But streamers are the open books of stars, celebrities who don't care if you see that their bedroom resembles a Tokyo landfill ...

Or who won't blink twice while live-streaming from inside a public bathroom, as noted author Dr. Disrespect has done. These are entertainers who have to fill endless amounts of airtime with the desperate oversharing of a shock-rock DJ hosting their 20th hour of a local telethon. They're filterless jabberers who will bounce from heated gamer moment to heated gamer moment or will spend hours putting on a racist accent to troll a polite ESL learner. 

But I'm sure Dr. Disrespect's memoir will be "a huge, massive, record-breaking bestseller," as he puts it. I'm sure fans will just rush to scroll through Dr. Disrespect's thoughts while also half-listening to similar thoughts on his daily stream -- if only for that special, intimate moment where the hot takes sync up. 

For more weird takes but a lot less disrespect, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

Top Image: Simon & Schuster