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Real Name: Adam Tod Brown
Member Since: November 22nd, 2007
Adam is a full-time editor and columnist at Cracked and a full time everything everywhere else. He currently runs the columnist section of the site with an iron goddamned fist and tells jokes live and in person and directly to your face all over the country. Come see him sometime!
For anyone but the richest among us, being saddled with the gifts of the 'The 12 Days of Christmas' could very well destroy your life.
When you actually sit down to look at the songwriting credits on famous tracks, the writers often come way the hell out of left field.
We try not to be celebrity-obsessed here at Cracked. But some prominent people have permanently changed the culture, and it's worth understanding what made them tick.
Don't you realize you can just make some shit up? If you wanted to write a song about pistol whipping the Insane Clown Posse roadie who was making out with your wife, just write that shit. You don't actually have to go out and beat up a clown to do it.
Adam Brown and Kristi Harrison feel it is their responsibility to deconstruct what has to be some of the most atrocious facial hair in the music industry.
You said Tom Petty, but you probably meant Richard Petty or Kyle Petty who both happen to be famous NASCAR drivers.
Being a famous musician comes with a lot of perks. Throngs of adoring fans enamored with your every move. More sex and drugs than one person should ever have access to. And, apparently, the means to get completely idiotic video games commissioned in your name.
An election that happened thousands of miles away is what deserves the bulk of our attention today.
Some movies that deserve at least a little bit of acclaim never really get it. Sometimes, this happens over the course of several movies.
NBC is actively endorsing Trump, all while pretending they cut ties well over a year ago with the man they helped make a star.
Who among us doesn't enjoy a good conspiracy theory?
The steps we take in the name of curbing gun violence often come off as ceremonial gestures at best.
What rarely comes up during discussions about the modern-day terror crisis is that, at least in the United States, terrorist attacks used to be a way bigger problem than they are now.
Sometimes, history's most awful people say things that, taken alone and completely out of context, are super inspiring.
Some people fire up the video camera and turn it right on themselves as soon as they start acting insane. Even worse, they're obviously proud of what they're doing.
Sometimes, problems don't actually go away; we just stop talking about them as much for some reason.
Asking for money is never easy. Even if you're just sticking a gun in someone's face and outright demanding it,.
Gain historical perspective that'll make 2020 tolerable.
Sometimes the CIA has secrets to protect. Other times, the CIA needs help with its self-esteem?
Happiness is a friendlier garbage truck.
This is all fixable. But don't let anybody trick you into thinking it gets fixed tomorrow.
Most disaster movies make cannon fodder out of almost every single living person on the planet who isn't a president, a fighter pilot, or the one scientist who has the key to solving the alien/meteor/whatever problem.
America is great at gentrification.
Sometimes finding the presidential candidate that's right for you comes down to the endorsements.
Think about the Disney princesses of the 1930s, 40s and 50s and what they actually accomplished in their films.